Sunday, July 10, 2011

Spelling is hard.

Alyssa:  So this episode is called Baby Got Business.
 The Bookmarm:  So is that her?
She's a baby now?
 Alyssa:  No, all the episodes are "Baby Got...something"
 The Bookmarm:  Way to not only objectify but also infantilize.
 Alyssa:  oh, yes
Sorry, she's Baby...I wasn't following
Right?
 The Bookmarm:  Go Spart.  Get some.
 Alyssa:  He's the real star of this whole thing
 The Bookmarm:  Seriously.
 Alyssa:  Dog park drama
Hahaha crackhead dog
 The Bookmarm:  What is Coco doing?
 Alyssa:  She totally just scaled a wall in her heels
 The Bookmarm:  She is like a superhero...of t&a.
There is a Shoe Freak ringtone?  Why don't I have it?
 Alyssa:  This is a chicken-of-the-sea level conversation
 The Bookmarm:  Srsly
 Alyssa:  I don't like her hair super-flat like that
 The Bookmarm:  I know.
Alyssa:  She needs volume
 The Bookmarm:  Disproprtionate.
 Alyssa:  Right
 The Bookmarm:  Which I totally misspelled.
 Alyssa:  I forgive you
 The Bookmarm:  BTW, I just saw a blind item that someone (and the assumption was him) is working for scale so his wife could be a star.
 Alyssa:  It must be him
 The Bookmarm:  Nice of him.
 Alyssa:  Pimp with a heart of gold
 The Bookmarm:  Nice.
 Alyssa:  Don't tell Coco not to worry about her clothing line
It's hers...of course she wants the details right
 The Bookmarm:  Right?  Let's give her some credit.
She's smart as hell.
 Alyssa:  I love that her business meeting dress is red satin
There is so much glitter involved in her packing
 The Bookmarm:  She really does have a very specific aesthetic that she associates with business.
It's like when they have the Barbies with the "jobs".
 Alyssa:  Yes!
 The Bookmarm:  Licous
 Alyssa:  oh no
The Bookmarm:  Una grande problema
 Alyssa:  Licous Barbie
 The Bookmarm:  ...And the HP commercial.
I die.
 Alyssa:  I'm so excited...I cannot even...I cannot
 The Bookmarm:  Have you seen the amazing Winnie the Pooh spoof?
Alyssa:  Yes! I saw that Pooh commercial last night
Genius.
 The Bookmarm:  Right?  Totally had me going.
I kept thinking the font looked odd, and then there it was.
 Alyssa:  Yeah, I did the same thing
Alyssa:  I love these commercials for Nair that make shaving look dangerous
The Bookmarm:  Srsly, and street.
 The Bookmarm:  BTW, whatcha drinking?
 Alyssa:  Oh, sweet tea vodka and lemonade
You?
 The Bookmarm:  I'm just g&t but with good gin and shitty tonic.
Bad.
 Alyssa:  Ugh, disappointing
 The Bookmarm:  Muy discontento.
Like Coco.
And Licous
 Alyssa:  If Coco is discontento, Everyone is discontento
 The Bookmarm:  Love that.
Alyssa:  Yes, trust the man who didn't see that licous might be a problem
By all means
 The Bookmarm:  She needs to put that on a t-shirt...when Coco ain't happy ain't nobody happy.
 Alyssa:  I would buy that shirt
Do you think she sleeps in that makeup?
 The Bookmarm:  I absolutely do think that.
 Alyssa:  Her pillow cases must be destroyed
Happy Wife
Happy Life
Happy Coco
Happy Ice
Sweeter words were never uttered
 The Bookmarm:  Right?
He's a pimp but then...
 Alyssa:  That is an ugly-ass dog
 The Bookmarm:  Who?  Spart?
 Alyssa:  No, that hairless thing that was running around
 The Bookmarm:  Oh, missed it.
The cheese is very important.
I agree
 Alyssa:  The power of cheese haha
 The Bookmarm:  Spart is so badass.
 Alyssa:  She is going to murder Soulji or whatever his name is
 The Bookmarm:  These girls!  They are too damn skinny!
Alyssa:  What the hell is he thinking?!
 The Bookmarm:  Souljee should die.
Is he trying to act straight?
 Alyssa:  Who was bootylicious?
Which one?
 The Bookmarm:  Ridiculous!!!!
 Alyssa:  What curve?!
 The Bookmarm:  Coco needs to put a woman in charge.
 Alyssa:  Yes. Put Sparkle on that shit.
She could identify some actual curvy women
 The Bookmarm:  She could be one of the models.
Get some of her girls together.
 Alyssa:  Souljee is delusional. Coco's not doing high-fashion clothes so she doesn't need high-fashion models.  Period.
The Bookmarm:  I can't even imagine how they could cut down Coco's clothes to those proportions.
 Alyssa:  I like her tracksuit.  Is that wrong?
 The Bookmarm:  No, it's majestic.  Her body is a wonderland.
 Alyssa:  Agreed
 The Bookmarm:  They are totally talking about Spart as if he can speak to them.
 Alyssa:  Can't he?
Tabasco? Terrible name
 The Bookmarm:  A butt hug.
Spart gives butt hugs.
 Alyssa:  Of course he does
 The Bookmarm:  Can't Spart just be happy?
Why does he need a career?
 Alyssa:  The background music on this show is perfect
 The Bookmarm:  They are George and Gracie.
 Alyssa:  Hahaha....in some form
So this is going well.
 The Bookmarm:  Poor Spart.  Let him stay home.
 Alyssa:  Cheese!  Cheese is missing!
 The Bookmarm:  Yay!
Cheese saves the day...again.
 Alyssa:  That is actually a great shot
 The Bookmarm:  So cute.
 Alyssa:  Why am I not invited to things like the Licious Launch Party?
My life would be complete
 The Bookmarm:  Because life is unfair.
Who would love it more than we would?
 Alyssa:  No one! No one would!
 The Bookmarm:  Why is Sparkle making that face?
 Alyssa:  Because she's just realizing her name is Sparkle
 The Bookmarm:  That must be a terrible moment of realization.
 Alyssa:  I love that all the clothes fit in those tiny little boxes too
 The Bookmarm:  And those are some big girl clothes.
 Alyssa:  Just little pieces of glitter and spandex...a clothing line in a shoe box
The Bookmarm:  Not buying it.
 Alyssa:  Added drama
I'd like another Harry Potter commercial now, please
The Bookmarm:  Just thought the same thing.
So silly!  Why are they acting so silly?
 Alyssa:  Who works at the Fed Ex counter in a leather jacket?
 The Bookmarm:  Hahaha
 Alyssa:  It's all terribly stressful
 The Bookmarm:  Sparkle looks constipated.
 Alyssa:  You can tell from the music
Why is Coco wearing khakis and a braid to her launch party?
Oh, ok...nevermind
Very few of these models are actually licious
 The Bookmarm:  Right?
They look small to me.
Stop saying Bitches, Ice.
 Alyssa:  He's so nice to her...then calls everyone bitches
 The Bookmarm:  Always a pimp.
 Alyssa:  Coco with a gun next episode? Glorious
Cannot wait
 The Bookmarm:  Love.

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