The President is speaking, and I’m hoping Nigel and Co. knew that so I’m not missing, like, a Paso Doble or something. Ah, here we go..Last Thursday, Cat almost had a nervous breakdown, everyone stays , reminder that the stakes have now doubled.
Tonight…they’re back! It’s your Top 20. Wait? No “Welcome…to So You Think You Can Dance?” There’s always one of those. This might seriously throw me off my game.
Tonight we have mini-solos in pairs: Joracist and TaddpoleClarice? And Jess. Sasha Fierce and Alexander. Jail Baitlynn and Mitchellbow. Missy and Wadi. Ashely and Chris (who?) Ryan and Ricky. Iveta and Nick. Miranda and Robert. Melanie and Marko. Here are the girls. And here are your guys.
Cat Deeley is wearing a lemon yellow lacey number. Mad Men wedding reception. Not her color.
Time to meet your judg…ZOMG IT’S DEBBIE REYNOLDS. I love that crazy old broad. Singin’ in the Rain is legitimately my favorite movie of all time, so I am more than a little excited about this. Oh, Nigel and Mary too. Cat Deeley is having such a fan-girl moment which makes me love her even more. Debbie looks every inch the diva in a lavender sequin suit. J’adore. Let’s all take a moment to watch “Good Mornin’” from Singin’ in the Rain, her first day on set if you can believe that.
Partners reveal annoying details about each other in today’s clips. Ryan and Ricky are up first. Ryan’s leg hair grows fast. You’re welcome. Ricky’s real name is Roderick. Opted out of the nickname “Rod” apparently. They are doing Jazz (x-rated) with Mandy Moore. Mandy says they are immature dancers. Ha. Will it be awkward or sexy? I have an idea. Let’s find out.
“Addicted to Love” Robert Palmer. Mandy always picks these 80s rock kind of numbers, usually they don’t measure up to her “Sweet Dreams” table routine with Sabra and Neil. Costumes are terrifying on a cellular leve: Ricky in a corset held up by suspenders and Ryan appears to be saloon-girl/ice-dancer in a choke collar? Huh. Dance? Not sexy. It’s like watching a train wreck. So so so wrong for this routine. Her tights rip about halfway through and now we’re getting un-obscured crotch shots. Horrible.
Nigel, because he’s a dirty old man, likes how raunchy it was then makes a joke about getting raunchy with Mary. Mary makes a joke about being addicted to them. Says Ryan became a warrior vixen? Is that a thing? Ricky is in the character apparently. Debbie says Ryan was falling out of her top and bottom…”You gave us your all.” Haha. That legitimately made me laugh.
Cat reminds us that there are NINE more numbers to go. Thanks for that, Cat.
Jail Baitlynn wears Uggs that make her feet turn blue. Mitchelbow has a zebra print snuggie. This week they are doing a Stacey Tookey contemporary routine in which a relationship has gone bad. How original. How many contemporary routines are about this? All. All of them.
“Turning Tables” Adele. Two chairs, hers is white, his is black. Because she is innocent and he is mean. Maybe some light would help to see what they’re doing. When they abandon the separate chairs, it’s so much better. Amazing flying leap where he catches her perfectly. Scary but awesome since they pulled it off. Good technically, but not my favorite dance. Mom: feels like I’ve seen that routine 500 times.
Mitchelbow accidentally punched her in the face during the dance and she’s bleeding. Jail Baitlynn is fine according to Dr. Deeley. Mary is congratulating “the show” meaning themselves because it was their decision, in keeping Mitchelbow around despite his injury last week. *Pats self on back* She loved the whole routine. Debbie says it was beautiful and sings a little. Can we keep her? Nigel feels Jail Baitlynn’s inner turmoil. I just bet he did. He says, quote, “Dance is the language of the soul” and then the dancers talk a bit but I’m still vomiting from Nigel’s comment so I can’t hear it.
Wadi likes to use Nair on his chest. There’s a video of it. Missy laughs weirdly. Not interesting. Jean Marc is here! I love that little married closet case. They are going to CHA CHA. It’s the most difficult thing he’s ever choreographed on the show. Jean Marc starts shaking his tiny ass to show Wadi how to “sell the product” and I am losing my shit. Miss asks one million questions about the choreography and is losing the meaning/spontaneity of the dance.
“Cannibal” by Ke$ha. Of course. There is definitely a leopard print, sequined, fringed, ripped one-armed costume happening. Is it on Missy or Wadi? Guess. Something bad is happening. It’s either been dumbed down or they just aren’t doing well. Missy is legitimately terrible at this style and Wadi is better, but not by a lot. They just look really stagnant. Too slow and also like they can’t get off the ground or something? It’s hard to explain. This week is pretty wah-wah so far.
Debbie thinks Wadi was “muy bueno.” Nigel is going to “keep it real” which he has already failed at because he said the phrase “keep it real.” Wadi had weak arms supposedly. Other non-cha-cha-ers have done better with the cha-cha on this show. Then he says “If you’re in the bottom three, you freestyle will save you.” Asshole. Already putting them in the bottom three then mentally giving him a pass, essentially guaranteeing that he will be around for another week. Way to keep it real, Nigel. He liked Missy in this dance because his penis told him to. Mary liked the beginning, but Mary is a ballroom expert and did not enjoy it, particularly Wadi. Maybe I don’t get it. She says it was respectable. Mary calls her the cha-cha queen and Wadi the student. Debbie jumps in and says she loves Wadi and will take him home. Mary tries to say “it’s about the dancing, Debbie” but no one hears because the audience loves her. Wadi is super-upset by the whole thing. Seriously, he looks like he’s going to cry. Missy defends him and we’re to commercial.
Iveta talks to herself in the mirror. Nick wears shorts all the time. They are going to do Bollywood with Nakul Dev Mahajan, which should be fun. I love Bollywood even if this show takes the costume level to an “Oriental Trading Company” place. No story behind Bollywood. Just insanity.
“Lucky by Chance” by Bawre Here we go. The costumes are embarrassing (like theme park level) and Nick’s is already falling apart.. They are good? I don’t know It’s impressive but there’s not a lot to say. It’s a typical Bollywood routine which means it was fun and exciting and requires a ton of energy but maybe not as many huge “OMG” moments as, like, contemporary where people are flying through the air.
Nick’s eyes are watering from the guy-liner as they go up to hear the damage. He’s adorable; I can’t help liking him. And Iveta sort of treats him like her pet, which sounds obnoxious but it’s kind of a fun dynamic. I think…I think I like them. That’s weird, huh? Nigel was entertained. Mary is a fan and thinks they make a great team. That means Mary and I are on the same page which pains me. Debbie is excited to be there and respects that Nick, who is a tap-dancer like she is, can do that. Nick credits the choreographer and explains the lotus hand movement and I want to put al 6’3” of him in a giant pocket and take him home with me.
Robert wants to be a pro-wrestler. Miranda has a crush on Taddpole. Awwww. Napoleon and Tabitha have choreographed a hip-hop routine in which they are both woodpeckers. No, I’m not drunk. That is actually what is happening unless it’s a big joke. He’s the mature bird and she’s, in her own words, a “baby pecker.” HAHAHA. They have an in-air collision. Death. Just kidding.
“Break Ya Neck” by Busta. Love this song so much. They are dressed like they are extras in Too Fast Too Furious: Tokyo Whatever…you know the one. I wish they had just made this a cool routine without the woodpecker backstory because it stands alone. Robert is really good. She is clearly…white and a contemporary dancer. It’s fun but she’s totally out of her element.
Mary was nervous about the animals being imitated on the show (probably because of Wade Robson’s “Two Fox” routine) but this was actually really fun. Nappy-Tabs have “amazing” concepts (umm, disagree). Mary, since she is also white and not a hip-hop dancer, thinks Miranda was amazing. Debbie thought it was wonderful. Debbie does the Woody Woodpecker laugh. Debbie is a national treasure. Nigel also loved it then totally loses his mind by saying that she was the best contemporary dancer to do hip hop ever. False. Katee Shean? Alex Wang? Hello?
Clarice? sleeps with her eyes open. Jess draws stick figure orchestras. Huh. Stacey Tookey is back for another contemporary routine. He’s a prince and she’s marrying into his royal family. He jokes that he gets to tell his mom he’s a prince. The lifts are challenging, particularly since he’s about 5’3”. I love him, but this is not the kind of dancing that is conducive to height deficiencies.
“Cathedrals” by Jump Little Children. No idea. He’s barefoot. And potentially dressed like a prince/policeman hybrid. Bad. Her dress is sloaty and pink. It’s pretty. You can tell he’s not nearly as comfortable with the contemporary stuff. Also, the height thing it just really difficult. So much of contemporary dancing for the boys is about being a base for the female dancers and he just is overshadowed. It’s a waste of his talents. The music is terrible. Toast.
Debbie wants to take them both him with her and Wadi. “Let’s all go home with Mommy-Debbie.” Adore, of course. Can I go home with Mommy-Debbie too? I think she’s a little drunk. Good for her. Nigel enjoyed parts of it then brings up Prince William and Kate? Ok. Liked them dancing separately but the stuff together felt uncomfortable. Agree. Damn. He’s worried they will be in the bottom three. STOP PROJECTING ASSHOLE. Mary is orange. Thought Jess was perfect and strong and controlled. Clarice? is Ms. Legs. Bleep bloop.
Joracist “isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.” No way. Taddpole is OCD about color coordination. Jean Marc is giving them a Vienese Waltz and you must understand space a time. Joracist is out then. She’s getting frustrated about the whole “space” thing, probably because she can’t grasp it.
“Fade into Me” by David Cook. Hell. I thought I got to stop listening to him after AI. Awww, stars and sparkly lights, pretty dress and nice tux. It looks pretty. I love Taddpole, like, a lot. So much that Joracist isn’t pissing me off right now. I think this is one of those kinds of dances where there’s big music, and it looks romantic and sweet so you’re kind of overwhelmed by the story part and can forgive a lot of the dancey issues that may have cropped up. Pretty. Cue romance rumors for these two.
I agree with Nigel again when he says that it was beautiful. He loves Joracist. Taddpole worries him because oh, it’s a fake out. Nigel is concerned that Taddpole is too good at this other stuff. It’s the best he’s seen a b-boy dance. We’re throwing that around a lot tonight. Nigel’s trying to get us to believe that they still draw dances from hats even though they never show it and all their favorites get their own types of dances. Come off it, dude. Mary loves Taddpole and is proud. She’s touched. She needs to be touched. Debbie is throws around Cyd Charisse and Gene Kelly and says they were in the same category. She is definitely drunk. That was pretty, but no WAY.
Let’s see what we can learn about Melanie and Marko. Melanie hates it when people touch her ears. Marko loves to read romance novels. Aren’t you glad we’re doing this. Jazz with Mandy Moore. Inspiration: Marko and Melanie are cool kids. There’s a hat. Uh-oh, introduction of props can be dangerous. Musicality will be super-tricky. Lifts are tricky. Tricky trick tricky.
“Sing with a Swing” by DKS. Very old-timey. Charleston happens. They look adorable and are both super-talented, but she’s maybe a bit too fluid for this choppier style. I think it’s meant to be more staccato. The parts when they’re dancing in tandem are really great and overall it’s fun. Hate the techno remix of this song. It’s distracting, as are the strobe lights. I don’t understand the lighting people on this show.
Mary says they are coming through loud and clear. She “never has to worry” about this pair/ partnership because they can handle anything that they “draw out of the hat.” Good to know that you haven’t worried about them in the ENTIRE two weeks you’ve known about it. Debbie rambles about something that I don’t really understand. They are stars, darling, stars, she says! Nigel says they are stars, even this early in the program. Then he gets philosophical. Bleep bloop.
Alexander and Sasha Fierce get to show off their swag…after the break! Sasha sweats like a dude. Alexander is a narcissist and loves to look at himself in the mirror. At least he admits it. I think they kind of hate each other based on this interview. Nappy-Tabs have a peaceful hip-hop about a soldier coming back from Afghanistan and reconnecting his wife. Sounds like a rehash of the Katee/Joshua hip-hop with a soldier going TO Afghanistan. Hope it measures up. It’s supposed to be very emotional. Can they make the connection? Let’s see.
“Coming Home” by Diddy – Dirty Money and Skylar Grey. So the beginning is also Sasha Fierce being fierce and Alexander walking across the stage is shadows. It’s so clearly meant to highlight her that I can’t help but think they are trying to get rid of Alexander again like they did last week. The dance is good, but the choreography doesn’t actually do what they wanted it to. There’s not a lot of place for emotional connections. Technically great but the story doesn’t match the movements, which, of course, is not their fault.
The audience is losing their shit so Debbie has to wait to talk. She eventually gets out that they had to act and sing then the voices in her head tell her to say “we loved you.” Mary is weeping because something is going on in her life that makes this too close/personal for her (her words) and now everyone is crying. Nigel takes over so Mary can get it together. He finds it “ironic” that they are running late because Obama was making a speech about bringing the troops home. Yes Nigel, that is just as ironic as rain on your wedding day. He doesn’t even want to talk about the dancing because the story was so beautiful and this is all too much for me (in the I’m cynical and you are all hypocrites kind of way, not the over-emotional way) so I’m bleep-blooping yet again.
Last couple! Wait…who are we missing? Seriously. Who are the other people? Oh. Ashley and Chris. Of course. (who?) I have absolutely no recollection about them whatsoever. Cannon fodder. Chris smiles creepily when he’s nervous. Ashley thinks she has swag but does not. Spencer Liff is choreographing this one! Hooray! I love his broadway routines exponentially more than Tyce’s. Wait. If this is the last number that means when have had an entire Dark Lord-less episode of SYTYCD. That makes me happier than I can explain. Premise: Ashley is visiting her man in prison. The whole thing is done through a set of prison bars and there’s a lot of sexual tension. On Chris’s side anyway.
“Please me Jailer” by Rachel Sweet. Wow. Chris has some muscles. He’s climbing those bars like it’s his job. Wow again! I love this! It’s sexy and fun at the same time. Well-choreographed and a little tongue-in-cheek. She looks gorgeous and he really holds his own. Huh. Routine of the night? Who knew? Maybe I will remember them next time.
Nigel loves Spencer of course. He is impressed by Chris the hip-hopper doing jazz/broadway routine. Ashley is verbally accosted by Nigel is the creepiest way possible. Mary breaks down 211 degrees vs 212 degrees being boiling and her stupid hot tamale train is run on steam from boiling water and maybe I’m no drugs? Something is happening. Debbie loves it, of course. She says they are “sensational.” Cat wants to know what went through their minds. Chris was excited because he could climb. Ashley was nervous that he was going to hurt himself. Cat tells us to vote aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…let’s wrap it up.
Recaps of tonight’s dances. Don’t forget to vote. Be patient if you can’t get through. Tomorrow TWO couples are going home and we’re out! Tune in tomorrow!
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