Sunday, June 19, 2011

In which Coco learns where babies come from (like, literally)

 The Bookmarm:  Coco's quite a little cleaner.  She wears some interesting outfits to clean in too.

 Alyssa:  I love that Coco wears marabou slippers to clean


 The Bookmarm:  So cute.

The Bookmarm:  I am very upset that my cable provider does not have E! in HD.

I need to see Coco's world in hi-def.

 Alyssa:  That's what I'm watching

He's wearing his shirt with guns again

The Bookmarm:  Does he not have very many clothes?

 Alyssa:  Coco's boobs are high def for real

 The Bookmarm:  I am so bitter.

 Alyssa:  Oh no

 The Bookmarm:  Women can still chop wood when they're pregnant?

 Alyssa:  "Women can still chop wood when they're pregnant"

 The Bookmarm:  Great minds.

 Alyssa:  She's only 5 months pregnant?

 The Bookmarm:  Girl is carrying quadruplets.

 Alyssa:  Must be

 The Bookmarm:  She is not cute.  I'm sorry.

 Alyssa:  No she is not

Rashidah is insane

I DIE

 The Bookmarm:  Do you know Rashidah?  Should I know Rashidah?

Alyssa:  Want. Shoes. Now.

No.  I do not know Rashidah…I thought she might be a RHW?

The Bookmarm:  How are you going to look like that when you are Coco's sister?

RHW of Jersey?  I don't know....

Alyssa:  And on television?  You have to fix yourself for that

Dog balls again

The Bookmarm:  Right?  I am willing to give her a pass when she is that pregnant, but she is just West Virginia looking.

I am scared right now because when Coco and I become BFFs she might read this someday.  It will be sad and scary.

Alyssa:  I'm feeling uncomfortable b/c of paparazzi?  You are ON TELEVISION bitch

The Bookmarm:  Srsly.  You know she loves it.

Chris Meloni--fine.

Alyssa:  PS Stabler was just on TV

love him

haha

Great minds again

The Bookmarm:  Ridic.

Alyssa:  Homegirl is wearing a sparkly butterfly claw on television

The Bookmarm:  Unfortunate.

Alyssa:  I am torn about Ice

The Bookmarm:  In what regard?

Alyssa:  He's so protective of and awesome with Coco

but also: Asshole

and former pimp

The Bookmarm:  Right....it's the former pimp.

Objectification of women + married to a human blow up doll =?

Alyssa:  Is this a thing?  That flashlight thing?

The Bookmarm:  I never did that.  Weird.

You're my other half?  The good looking half.

Alyssa:  Shouldn't her husband be her other half?

Maybe?

The Bookmarm:  Does she have one?

I missed that.

Alyssa:  I thought so

maybe not

Oh no.

Deliver the baby?

The Bookmarm:  Right?

Alyssa:  No…I….

The Bookmarm:  Cuz when I look at Coco, I think "trained medical professional."

Alyssa:  Right?

This bad teacher movie makes me want to stab people

The Bookmarm:  But why?  You know I totally want to see it....

Alyssa:  Maybe I'm just grumpy today

The Bookmarm:  No, I think you have standards.

Alyssa:  I might be too sober

The Bookmarm:  Me, not so much.

Oh, soberness is problematic.  I can wait while you take care of that ailment.

Alyssa:  Fair enough,,,Firefly time

The Bookmarm:  These Rephresh commercials make me think way too much about what is going on in my hoohah.

Alyssa:  Haha I love Ice's reaction

The Bookmarm:  I don't know that Ice has a real firm idea of what goes on in an actual womb situation.

Alyssa:  Grilled cheese? yes.  Baby? Nope.

The Bookmarm:  Again, demeaning, but true.

Alyssa:  Nor should he.

I'll ride or die, but I wont do that

The Bookmarm:  OMG Spart and that football!

So damn cute.

Alyssa:  Her shirt is some seriously Barbie dreamgirl shit

The Bookmarm:  He sucks on it like a pacifier!

Oh, that shirt.

So cute.

Alyssa:  What exactly is the "personality" for delivering a child?

The Bookmarm:  Calm and with some semblance of medical training?

Souljee is going to lamaze

Alyssa:  Is medical training a personality issue?

Haha Souljee is going to be in the fetal position

The Bookmarm:  I think so because a lot of medical personnel are of a certain type, in my experience.

Alyssa:  Ha...All these crunchy granola, midwife using women are losing their shit

The Bookmarm:  They look seriously irritated.

Alyssa:  Souljee maybe didn't need the padding...I'm just saying

The Bookmarm:  Okay, I would be pissed too.  Everybody wants to be the star at her own Lamaze class.

Souljee also has ovaries, I'm thinking.

Alyssa:  Do I still have to go to a Lamaze class if I want to be knocked the fuck out during the entire labor/delivery process?

The Bookmarm:  No you do not.

Alyssa:  Oh good

glad to hear that

The Bookmarm:  I went with my first because I really wanted to do the natural thing.

The gigantic farm baby I subsequently gave birth to was like, "Mmm, I don't think so."

Didn't go back for the second.

Alyssa:  Yea, that would do it

I saw that video in biology.  That was enough.

The Bookmarm:  I don't recall seeing that at all.

Coco's shoes are insanity.

Alyssa:  This would be me if someone was going through my shoes

I would cut a bitch

The Bookmarm:  Oh good Lord.

Alyssa:  You know Coco is getting rid of exactly zero pairs of shoes, right?

The Bookmarm:  Surely she has to get rid of some of them.  Or maybe she should store them?

Alyssa:  Oh! Miracle of birth time!

The Bookmarm:  I'm so scared.

Alyssa:  I love that the tank top is supposed to cover all her boobs, but no

Her lipstick is glorious

The Bookmarm:  I was just thinking that.

Alyssa:  Ew, I just heard the word cervix

The Bookmarm:  She has a mouth like Kendra.

Alyssa:  bless her

was that it?! lame

The Bookmarm: I don't think Coco is going to do it.

Alyssa:  I hope not.

Why would her sister want to put her through that?

The Bookmarm:  I know.

Alyssa:  No, it isn't beautiful.  It's gross.  The result is beautiful.

And right there, dear Reader, the chat died.  No worries.  All that happened was that Ice made some kind of speech to some bunch of people and told some stupid story about God that everybody has heard like a million times except with way more cussing.  Night!

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