Alyssa: Ice Loves Coco!
Bookmarm: Yay!
Alyssa: I cannot escape this Larry Crown movie
err, Crowne I guess
I feel like I've seen one million ads for it
Bookmarm: Mr. Bookmarm and I went to the movies and saw that preview. So sad! Then yesterday we watched You've Got Mail. Remember how cute he used to be?
And Meg Ryan too for that matter.
Alyssa: Meg before the botox and the duck lips
Bookmarm: Why didn't they retire then? When they were cute?
Alyssa: I don't know...Either they ignored their publicists or they hired bad people
Bookmarm: But those are the very people saying "You have to keep working" because they want their 10%.
My idol is Daniel Tosh because of his stated intention of retiring on his 40th birthday and living on whatever he's made by then.
Alyssa: I love him
I just watched, like, 4 episodes of Tosh.O back to back
Bookmarm: So great. Though now you're a little more dead inside.
Who am I to talk, though? I've been watching Real Housewives since 6:30 this morning.
Alyssa: Only barely...I'm pretty close to lifeless in there already
Haha, that's fantastic
Oh! I posted the SYTYCD results show today
I had to work up to it because I was so upset
Bookmarm: Oh no. Will the recap explain your feelings?
Alyssa: Oh I think so, yes haha
Here's our girl
Assless dress runway...I..I...
Alyssa: How do these skinny girls know how to make clothes for Cocohomygod...that thing is heinous
Bookmarm: Look at her!
Alyssa: She is actually a drag queen now
Bookmarm: Yes, a snake is the accessory you need with that dress.
Alyssa: like she could give tucking lessons
Bookmarm: Hahahaha
I love the shoes on the wall too
Alyssa: I love the sound of Coco's World Offices
Bookmarm: That is like what you need.
Alyssa: Glasses = serious Coco
Bookmarm: Do you think there is a prescription there?
Alyssa: Girls love to be called "a situation" particularly if she is supporting your broke ass
Bookmarm: Yes!
The nerve!
That's right, Coco. Protect your girls.
Alyssa: No prescription...I'm surprise there's even glass in them
Bookmarm: 32 is not near 40
Alyssa: Damn near 40?
Hahahaha
she gives as good as she gets
Bookmarm: We have exactly the same triggers.
Alyssa: Ice rapping after all this time makes me sad
Bookmarm: She's gotta get a younger man and leave your old pimp ass is what she needs to do.
He does sound like your old "hip" uncle rapping.
Alyssa: Well, it depends on the kind of cash he's gonna throw her
Bookmarm: You know Coco could get someone legitimately richer than Ice.
Alyssa: I mean, they seem to have a relationship that works, right? As screwed up as that is?
There's already a song about Lip Gloss
So...shoes then
Bookmarm: Yes, and he does seem to love the shit out of her.
Ew.
Alyssa: That's a good look
Bookmarm: Jess is cuter than the sister.
Dump the sister and make Jess your new sister.
Alyssa: Yes. Agreed. Although "Wild Child" is not exactly a creative nickname
Bookmarm: Not at all.
Alyssa: Class is chardonnay out of a plastic cup
Bookmarm: Hell to the yes! She threw his shit out in the street!
Alyssa: Moms are not for that
That is a terrible beat
a legitimately terrible beat
Bookmarm: This is a really white organization there.
Alyssa: Make a hit I need an apartment? That made me laugh
Bookmarm: Why are all his studio people kind of nerdy chubby white guys.
Alyssa: B/c he's Uncle Ice at this point
Bookmarm: Yes.
Alyssa: And also b/c he wants it out in time for her birthday, which is supposed to be soon?
Bookmarm: Right?
Alyssa: Does he have the 1998 Nokia ring tone?
Bookmarm: Yes!
OMG, that is fucked up.
No! Don't introduce her o Mark!
Alyssa: To-nya? That's amazing
I am Al-yssa from now on
Yes. By all means, go with what Ice thinks is hot
Bookmarm: I'm Tha B'k-m@rm.
Alyssa: Hahaha Love it
To-Tam now has given Broke-Ass Marc her cell number
Bookmarm: Dammit
Alyssa: Coco's gonna freak out
I think Marc's balding
Explains the series of terrible hats
Bookmarm: Yes, and also just not legit in any way.
No street cred.
Alyssa: Agreed. Beret? No street cred.
Bookmarm: I am uniquely qualified to judge street cred.
Hanging out with geriatrics and fat white nerds? No street cred.
Alyssa: That bad boss movie looks legit terrible
that's what looks legit to me
Bookmarm: So bad.
Have you seen anything that looks good?
Alyssa: Movies for the summer?
Bookmarm: Yes.
Alyssa: Other than HP, obv?
Bookmarm: Obv.
Alyssa: No.
Not one thing.
Bookmarm: Coco you're overreacting.
Did you marry her for her subtlety?
Alyssa: Because she expressed an opinion
hahahahaa
good point
Bookmarm: Right.
How dare she?
Alyssa: She is giving him the eye for real.
Bookmarm: Look at that audience.
Talk about geriatrics and fat white guys...
Alyssa: Less and less legit as we go
Bookmarm: So depressing.
Too much Ice, not enough Coco.
Alyssa: Oh she hates him.
Right. The balance should be 75/25 Coco to Ice
Bookmarm: Yes!
Like a cocktail.
Alyssa: She's an artiste with the accent
Bookmarm: Right!
And there it is.
Alyssa: Yes! I've been waiting for that
Bookmarm: She wants to fuck her shoes!
Of course she does.
Alyssa: There's going to be a song about Coco fucking her shoes
Bookmarm: I do not want to fuck my shoes. I'm jealous.
Alyssa: That is amazing
UGH “I haven't met the right woman?”
Bookmarm: Is he wearing an ascot?
Alyssa: The ascot is killing me
Bookmarm: Blargh.
She does not like him kissing her.
Alyssa: "Aww, that's sweet. I dont want you to date my friend."
Bookmarm: She smells like porcelain.
?
Alyssa: he doesn't know what that is
Clearly he loves fashion.
Bookmarm: Clearly. That's why he looks so good.
Alyssa: I love that Coco is there to call him on his bullshit.
Bookmarm: He has his hands in her hair.
On the first date.
No.
Alyssa: She already identified the two of them as "we" which means she deserves him
Bookmarm: I should show this to the little bookmarms as an example of how to spot a bullshitter.
Alyssa: "We need to take an example from them" No.
Bookmarm: And how to spot a weak co-dependant woman.
Alyssa: If she's about any money at all, like enough to pay rent...she won't be about him
Bookmarm: Go Coco. Tell her.
He's not interesting.
Alyssa: I think little bookmarms already know.
Bookmarm: I pray.
You need to tell them, Coco. They need guidance.
Alyssa: Take sides! Your girls always win.
At least present them with all the information like, say....oh I don't know...He's a liar.
Bookmarm: And a user and manipulator.
Alyssa: Oh yea. Those things as well. A triple threat
Bookmarm: Oh Joel McHale.
How I want to climb you.
Alyssa: It wouldn't take a lot. He's quite small I think.
But I'm with you.
Bookmarm: No! Really? I thought he was giant and tall.
Alyssa: He is!
I just looked it up!
Bookmarm: Maybe it's because everyone else in Hollywood is so tiny he looks tall in comparison.
Alyssa: 6'4"
Nice!
Bookmarm: Oh hell yes.
I will go and get my climbing gear on.
Alyssa: Hi Mr. Bookmarm!
Haha
Bookmarm: He's far away.
He'll never know.
Alyssa: Haha, I love the addition of Brian
Bookmarm: Flats? I don't think so.
Alyssa: That's fantastic.
Bookmarm: Brian would hate me.
Alyssa: He should tell her where he is though
(Ice, not Brian)
Bookmarm: Right.
But it will make it so exciting when she finds out.
I love surprises.
Alyssa: That's true, and of course she will forgive him.
Bookmarm: Of course.
Alyssa: And it's b/c he wants it totally perfect, which is kind of adorable.
Bookmarm: She is like his kryptonite.
Alyssa: I thought they shared a cell phone?
Bookmarm: He is just weak in the face of all that.
Alyssa: How is she texting him?
Bookmarm: Yes!
Alyssa: Shenanigans!
Bookmarm: Gin just came out my nose.
Alyssa: Hahaha fantastic.
Ugh, Cedric the Entertainer is in that Larry Crowne movie
How the mighty have fallen
Bookmarm: Ugh, it's everywhere.
Alyssa: Kings of Comedy was, like, my favorite thing for so long
Bookmarm: Really? I need to check it out. I only saw bits.
Too much of that jugemental guy, what's his name?
I totally misspelled judgmental.
Steve Harvey
Alyssa: Well it was Steve Harvey, DL Hughley, Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac
Bookmarm: Steve Harvey.
Alyssa: Oh I love him!
Coco is not amused
Bookmarm: I don't want her night ruined.
Like God just walked through the door.
Dude.
Alyssa: Ego strokers...both of them
which I guess is the key to a solid marriage?
Bookmarm: Yes, and I think in their case they actually mean about 88% of it.
Alyssa: I will need to purchase this on iTunes
Bookmarm: I may need to as well.
Alyssa: Yes. He was lying@
Wait...what is the result of that?
Bookmarm: It's like a historical moment.
There is none.
Alyssa: Why didn't we get the result?
Oh! Here we go
Good for To-Tem.
Bookmarm: Thank God.
Or Ice.
Alyssa: Haha. That dog's balls are going to be in every episode, yes?
Bookmarm: Coming up looks awesome!
Alyssa: Oh no! You do NOT trust Sparkle to make business transactions
Can't wait for next week!
Bookmarm: Looks amazing. Starring Spart!
Alyssa: And that's a wrap!
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