Ice Loves Coco Episode 3: Of Scrubs and Soles

Alyssa:  Ice Loves Coco!

 Bookmarm:  Yay!

 Alyssa:  I cannot escape this Larry Crown movie

err, Crowne I guess

I feel like I've seen one million ads for it

 Bookmarm:  Mr. Bookmarm and I went to the movies and saw that preview.  So sad!  Then yesterday we watched You've Got Mail.  Remember how cute he used to be?

And Meg Ryan too for that matter.

 Alyssa:  Meg before the botox and the duck lips

 Bookmarm:  Why didn't they retire then?  When they were cute?

 Alyssa:  I don't know...Either they ignored their publicists or they hired bad people

 Bookmarm:  But those are the very people saying "You have to keep working" because they want their 10%.

My idol is Daniel Tosh because of his stated intention of retiring on his 40th birthday and living on whatever he's made by then.

 Alyssa:  I love him

I just watched, like, 4 episodes of Tosh.O back to back

 Bookmarm:  So great.  Though now you're a little more dead inside.

Who am I to talk, though?  I've been watching Real Housewives since 6:30 this morning.

 Alyssa:  Only barely...I'm pretty close to lifeless in there already

Haha, that's fantastic

Oh! I posted the SYTYCD results show today

I had to work up to it because I was so upset

 Bookmarm:  Oh no.  Will the recap explain your feelings?

 Alyssa:  Oh I think so, yes haha

Here's our girl

SYTYCD 8.9: Contemporary is King and Ryan isn't Tryin'

Ok…true confession?  I already know who went home.  I haven’t watched the episode because I was at work and by the time I got home, I was too tired to watch it but morbid curiosity took over so I looked into it and was SO furious at the results that I couldn’t stand the idea of watching it the next day and then I went to a wedding and now it’s either clean the bathroom or watch this episode, so here we are.  I know that was, like, 19 sentences strung together but that’s the way it came out.  I told you all of that to tell you this: I’m pissed and this recap will probably have just the tiniest whiff of frustration with Nigel and Co. for their blatant favoritism.  Thank you for listening.  I feel better now.  Let’s kick it off.

Woof.  Cat’s script-writer for tonight needed an editor.  Verbatim: “Last night your top 10 couples put together a mouth-watering cocktail of dance.  Like all good cocktails, it’s left us with a headache, which means 4 dancers are headed home.  This…is So You Think You Can Dance.”  What does that even mean?  Also, her dress and her lipstick are the same shade of salmon.  Was she a bitch to her wranglers this week (doubtful) or have they had to cut down on the wardrobe/writing budget to make room for Mary Murphy’s botox allowance?

You're only 16 once, except when it's twice.

Previouslies just show how bitchy and hateful these women are.  Topped off by Luann talking about how she has been nothing but friendly and kind.  I need a bottle of whatever pills she’s popping.

SYTYCD 8.8: Debbie Reynolds is my Homegirl

The President is speaking, and I’m hoping Nigel and Co. knew that so I’m not missing, like, a Paso Doble or something.  Ah, here we go..Last Thursday, Cat almost had a nervous breakdown, everyone stays , reminder that the stakes have now doubled.

Tonight…they’re back!  It’s your Top 20.  Wait?  No “Welcome…to So You Think You Can Dance?”  There’s always one of those.  This might seriously throw me off my game.

In which Coco learns where babies come from (like, literally)

 The Bookmarm:  Coco's quite a little cleaner.  She wears some interesting outfits to clean in too.

 Alyssa:  I love that Coco wears marabou slippers to clean

SYTYCD 8.7: When in doubt, do nothing.

Cat reminds us that two dancers will be sent home tonight.  She lies and does not know it.  Welcome…to So You Think You Can Dance.

SYTYCD 8.6: Top 20 Perform

Last week we met our top 20 in a variety of routines ranging from fun (Chris, Wadi, Tadd, and Robert’s Hip-Hop) to awesome (Jess and Nick’s tap routine) to downright infuriating (Ryan’s contemporary routine that might as well have been her solo but actually also included four other Top 20 dancers). That was all well and good, but this week the gloves come off, so to speak.

Cat’s ready for her obligatory close-in opening monologue, and tonight, she’s all business in tone but is sporting some seriously JBF hair and a tiny-strapped sequin number that I’m betting is a wee on the short side.  “This week, two dancers are going home; only your votes can keep them safe.  Welcome…to So You Think You Can Dance.”

Opening credits.  Still miss head-flippy dude.

Ice Loves Coco

Alyssa:  I'm so excited
  Bookmarm:  Me too.  I am trying to find the goddamn E! channel on this hotel system!
 Alyssa:  oh no!  I hope they have it
 Bookmarm:  Finally found it.  The goddamn concierge didn't know they had it.  How can they not realize the awesomeness they have on these teevees?
 Alyssa:  b/c he's not gay
he probably watches espn and spice
 Bookmarm:  You are correct.  There are no gay people in KY.
Ironic.  Because KY is integral to a lot of gayness.
 Alyssa:  Ha, I love a pun
 Bookmarm:  Right?
Coco wants to fuck her shoes.  Promising.

Ya Habibi!

Previouslies on RHoNY—Everybody is a big ol’ bitch, especially that Cindy.  I guess being around all those cunts makes you one, too.

SYTYCD 8.4: Fear, But Mostly Loathing, in Las Vegas

This week, we open with the Vegas call-backs.  The ones who made it through the individual city auditions, either immediately or via the choreography round.  These should be “the best of the best” according to Ms. Deeley. Let’s see, shall we?

We’ll be trashy so you don’t have to...

As students of pop culture and devotees of trash TV, we can think of no better outlet for our random musings than this. Our intention is to make “Too Trashy” a place for a live-blog style commentary on the shows we love, not for their quality but for the opportunities they provide to examine the world around us. This summer the plan is to cover “Real Housewives of New Jersey” and “So You Think You Can Dance” as well as “Hair Battle Spectacular” (if it gets a release date from Oxygen.) We’ll also be discussing random episodes of such gems as “The World According to Paris,” “Platinum Hit” and anything else that strikes our fancy. So…stay tuned!

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